The Building of a Nation Starts with YOU!

“Men, I believe if we teach our sons how to be providers as they become men, how to treat women, how to be in control of their sexuality, how to value their purity as young boys, how to be leaders in their homes and communities, how to operate in their God given masculinity, while also teaching our sons to honor marriage, we will help greatly in decreasing the many fatherless, broken and dysfunctional homes we have in this world today, especially in our own communities”. ~ PAV

“Women, I believe if we teach our daughters to know their worth, to value their sexuality and their bodies, to empower them in their educational creativity, to help them understand that being a help meet is a strong active role in society as a whole, not a weak, inactive one only done in marriage, how to honor marriage while also teaching our daughters to support masculinity while operating fully in their God given femininity, we will help greatly in decreasing the epidemic of leaving legacies of broken relationships, out of wedlock births and extreme poverty”. ~ OEV

“Men and Women, we believe in being Faithful to Marriage, Faithful to Family and Faithful to Legacy (Building). In order to have healthy marriages, strong and loving families and positive legacies tomorrow, it starts with building our marriage, our family and our legacy TODAY”!

We’re already doing this and are working to do it even better. Have you started? Are you doing your part?  What steps are you taking to get this done?  Comment and let us know! ~ PAV &OEV

 

Psalm 112:1-3, “Praise the Lord!  Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in His commandments!  His offspring will be mighty in the land, the generation of the upright will be blessed.  Wealth and riches are in His house and His righteousness endures forever”.

Psalm 78:4, “We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and His might, and the wonders that He has done”.

Deut 6:5-7, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise”.

 

 

Wanna join OEV’s Online Kingdom Building Community for Women?  Sign up here.

 

Wanna join PAV’s Online Kingdom Building Community for Men?  Sign up here.

“No More Lazy Sex”! ~ PAV

 

 

 

No More Lazy Sex PAV

 

For the Husbands and Single Bruhs!

Sorry, but you canNOT bring your “hay-day way” of having sex into your marriage and think your wife will be pleased! That’s just like calling every woman from your past and saying “Hey! Come join my wife and I..!” Your intimacy with your wife will be MESSED UP.

You have to delete what you learned in the world and REBOOT your learning of sex with your wife because those other women were NOT your wife so you can’t bring those past “styles” into your present marriage. This is one of the many ways of doing marriage God’s way when it comes to pleasing your wife. And if you think for one minute that you’re gonna “get yours” and roll over and go to sleep afterwards thinking that’s it, brotha you need to renew your mind in a hurry! Because sex is not over until you BOTH get yours..!

Renew your mind about the “Gift of Sex” and learn that sex is selfless but fornication is selfish. Fornication focuses on YOU. Sex (in marriage) focuses on your WIFE! The word says in 1 Cor 7:3a that, “The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs…” Do you see? That means in sex it’s not about you, it’s about your wife. You are to make sure that her need is fulfilled. Too many times in marriage only the husbands are getting fulfilled sexually and the wives are left deprived. And wives can be feeling deprived whether the couple is having sex or not. In other words, in some marriages, the wife is deprived because she’s not getting enough sex from her husband. She’s “sex starved”. But in other marriages, the couple is having sex but only the husband is fulfilled. She’s sexually unfulfilled. And many times we husbands are doing this because of the bad habits we picked up in the world when we were fornicating. Now that we’re married, the sexual baggage and residue of fornication is now hindering our sex life with our wives. How so?

Because in fornication, we were about getting ours. And if a man does this enough times, it can become a habit that anytime sex takes place, whether illicit sex or legal sex, the man gets his and doesn’t make sure the woman is totally pleased. Time to renew your mind on sex men, whether single or married. Single men it would do you good to renew your mind now before you marry so that there is less chance of you bringing the residue of sexual sin into your marriage and hindering your sex life with your wife. Husbands, it would do you good to renew your mind now, talk to wife and ask her is she truly being fulfilled sexually. If she says no, then its time to ask her why, ask her what can you do to make things right and TAKE ACTION!

It can be done men. Trust, as I’ve had to do the same thing! I found out that sex is about giving and pleasing my wife, so I had to stop being lazy when it came to making sure my wife was pleased and do the work! Remember, we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us, yes even in making sure we have NO MORE LAZY SEX! Let’s Get It Men!  We got wives to please!  😉

‪#‎YourWifeIsNotThoseOtherWomen‬

‪#‎ItsNotJustAboutYouAnymore‬

‪#‎YouCantTreatYourWifeLikeShesABootyCall‬

#NoMoreLazySex

“Marriage Is To Be Honored By ALL”! ~ PAV

Everyone is to respect (honor) marriage including the husband and wife in the marriage. The reason why others may not respect marriage is because some of us who are married may not respect our own marriage and we show our dishonor of it.

For example, if a husband or wife is cheating, then neither do they nor the person they are cheating with honors marriage. In other words, if a wife cheats on her husband with another man, neither the cheating wife or the other man respects or honors the marriage the wife is in nor do they respect or honor marriage in itself.

When singles fornicate with each other, they also do not honor marriage, for if they did, they would either marry or not fornicate. Many seem to think this scripture is just for those who are married and are doing marriage God’s way. No, this scripture was written for ALL! And it means you honor the marriages of others, you honor the marriage you are in or you honor marriage in itself that you either marry or remain a virgin outside of marriage.

God is the creator of marriage and if He says to honor it, then we are to obey and honor it. Whether we are married or not, we are not to dishonor what God created by fornicating or committing adultery. And that is why the scripture says in Heb 13:4 (NASB), “Marriage is to be held in honor AMONG ALL, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge”.

When you honor marriage, what you are really doing is honoring what God has created and you’re also honoring the creator of marriage as well! #MarriageIsHonorable

Please share this with as MANY as you can! Be blessed everyone!

Biblical Roles of Marriage Part III: “The Role of A Godly Husband.” #2 ~ PAV

Merry Christmas!

1 Peter 3:7 (NASB), “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and SHOW HER HONOR as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered”.

In 1 Peter 3:7, the word HONOR really stands out when referenced as how husbands are to be with their wives. The word ‘honor’ means ‘high respect, as for worth, merit, or rank: such respect manifested: high public esteem’. It’s important that husbands understand this because a husband who HONORS his wife will NEVER cheat on her. A husband who HONORS his wife will ALWAYS provide for her as best as he can. A husband who HONORS his wife will not abuse her. Why? Because a husband who HONORS his wife respects his wife HIGHLY as the gift from God that she is!

When I was a newlywed, I was at work one day thinking about the argument my wife and I had earlier that morning. While I was working the Lord began to speak to me about the way I saw my wife. All of a suddenly, I saw a picture of a vase. The vase looked so delicate and very expensive. The Lord then asked me how much did I think the vase was worth. Without hesitating I said out-loud to the Lord, “PRICELESS”. Then the Lord told me that the vase represented MY WIFE! Everything hit me SO HARD as I realized I had not been treating my wife like the delicacy that she is. Her worth is FAR ABOVE RUBIES (Prov 31:10). Not just to me but TO GOD! God is SERIOUS about the way His sons treat His daughters! Yes my wife and I share in the “grace of life” and yes we BOTH serve God individually as well as together but God has called me as her husband to HONOR HER! And I am to honor her above ALL OTHERS ON THIS EARTH as she is the ONE I am in covenant with.

To this day I have definitely missed the mark many times with treating my wife with the honor I am supposed to. And the interesting thing is whether my wife submits to me or not, reverences me or not or obeys me or not, I am STILL to HONOR her in our marriage as MY WIFE!

In my HONEST opinion, this is where so many believing husbands miss it and miss it often. We think that we are to be honored by our wives yet we forget God has called us to also honor our wives. Not only that, we are to dwell with our wives in an understanding way. Col 3:19 tells us husbands AGAIN to love our wives but also not to be harsh with them. God has a way he wants us to be with our wives DAILY! I have failed at this many times but as I grow, I am reminded of the delicate vase God showed me as a newlywed.

If you noticed in yesterday’s write-up as well as this one, I don’t mention much about the husband providing. Why is that? Because men hear this ALL OF THE TIME just like women hear about submission all of the time. Most men KNOW they are to provide for their wives and children. The problem is, we husbands can get so caught up in providing that we forget to do ALL the other things God has called us to do as husbands. And this is why our prayers can be hindered as stated in 1 Peter 3:7 if we are not doing our roles as we should.

Husbands if we honor our wives, if we treat and walk with our wives in an understanding way, if we remain TRULY FAITHFUL to our wives, lead and guide our wives in God’s truth as we should as well as provide for them etc, then we are loving our wives as Christ loves the church. Many husbands, I’m sure, do things differently than I do and that is why the way I run my household may not look like the household of another Godly husband but as long as we do our role, it doesn’t matter if husbands’ households look exactly the same. What matters is that we are fulfilling the commandments God has given us as husbands to do.

The way I treat my wife may be different than the way you treat your wife but as long as we are HONORING our wives then we are in obedience to the word of God. The way I provide for my wife and children may be different than the way another husband provides for his wife and children but as long as we husbands are providing for the needs of our wives and and children then we are in obedience to what the word of God commands us to do as husbands. Do you all see what I mean?

The biblical role of the husband is to be done regardless of the wife doing her role in the marriage. This is why we are commanded to give up OUR LIVES FOR OUR WIVES. I want to leave husbands with a small example of doing this in my own marriage before I end this post.

I can’t remember how long ago this happened but I came home extremely tired from working ALL DAY so I just wanted to get some rest. My wife had ALSO been working extremely hard all day with the children and keeping the house so she was just as tired as I was. The children, though very happy to see me, was pulling at me from every direction. My wife went to our bedroom to retreat just a bit before dinner but I TOO wanted to retreat and felt she should allow me a break since I had been working outside all day and was literally drained.

When I realized my wife had already retreated, I was not happy about it because I was thinking about how tired I was. My children were asking me questions, asking me to play with them, wanting me to get them things and more. But on top of that there was whining, a lot of noise, constantly needing me to get up and bathroom visits for my smaller two that only I or my wife could take care of. I felt as if I was going to BREAK. So I went to our bedroom and quickly said to my wife, “I need a break”. Without waiting for an answer, I hurried down the hall to our home office and immediately locked the door. I just knew I was about to breath a little bit and get myself together but the next thing I know, my wife was unlocking the door and she said, “Sorry honey but you can’t take a break right now. One of us has to be with the children and it’s not going to be me as I’ve been with them all day and I must have a moment to rest”.

I was REALLY upset. I began to justify why I should be the one to take the break and why she should instead be with the children a little longer. After all, I had been working hard all day outside of the home. So while in the middle of pleading my case to her, the Holy Spirit said very quietly, “Who’s commanded to give up their life for the other? You or your wife?” My lips ceased to move just like that. I could not say another word at that moment. My wife was looking at me wondering what was going on with me as I had cut myself off from pleading my case with instantaneous silence. I then said to her, “I’m sorry Babe. You get your rest and I will take care of them”. She looked puzzled but went to rest anyway.

Now please don’t miss the point of this post. MOST times I really do believe the husband who works outside of the home should be allowed to rest when he gets home from work but that can’t always be. Just because I believe that’s the way it should always be doesn’t mean that it will be because as the scripture says and as the Lord asked me, WHO did God call to die and give up their very life in the marriage? The Wife? No! The HUSBAND is required to give up his life for his wife! We were BOTH tired and beat but we have children to take care of. And it really was not about my wife having been with the children all day but more about was I going to deny myself for my wife to be OK. Was I going to put myself LAST in order for her to be FIRST and then my children? You may ask, “But where did you get strength from”? HA! FROM THE LORD! As I walked back to where our children were, I prayed a very QUICK prayer telling the Lord I needed Him more than ever so I would not lash out in frustration and tiredness towards my children. And did not the Lord do it? YES HE DID! His wisdom also set in where He gave me the idea to turn on a nice family movie, get some snacks and sit in our family room with our children. While they watched the movie, I got a chance to relax in God’s Grace WITH my children and got the break I needed after all.

That is an example of putting my wife BEFORE MYSELF and in the end God was GLORIFIED!!! Husbands I’m not saying it was easy because it wasn’t, but GOD GOT ME THROUGH. God HELPED ME to do my role when I did not want to. Does that mean my wife NEVER goes that extra mile for me at times and say, “I got this Babe; get some rest”? No because she does. But what I am saying is I am COMMANDED to give my life up for my wife not the other way around.

Husbands, God can help us to be the GODLY HUSBANDS He has called us to be because this can NOT be done in our own strength! We are too weak to do this alone. But that’s ok because when we are weak, WE ARE STRONG (2 Cor 12:10)! How? Because we are strong IN CHRIST! Be blessed My Brothers!

Again, please share our post with AS MANY as you can. Thanks everyone!