“In Walks A Man”! ~ OEV


The woman was tired. She had been up all night getting some rare “me time” by indulging in Netflix movies. But just when she was about to finally get some sleep in the early morning, her youngest son (2 years old) wakes up. While trying to put him back to sleep, an older sibling wakes up and seems to signal for the other children to wake up as well. Before the woman knows it, all of her ‘stair steppers’ are awake. Now the woman wishes she didn’t stay up all night getting rare “me time” in because now she’s going to be tired the rest of the day because at 6am, it really is time to get up anyway.

So the days goes just as expected. Tiresome! She’s tired but managing to run the household to the demands of her younger children while getting the older children to help in keeping things in order. In the afternoon, she actually manages to get them all to take a nap so she takes a nap as well. Three hours seems like enough rest but unfortunately the nap puts her behind in getting dinner ready. Thank The Most High the children are all still sleeping so she gets busy with dinner. Just as things are going well, the youngest son wakes up crying. But before she can even grab him, the youngest daughter wakes up crying as well. She’s wondering how in the world she’s going to get everything done before the man of the house is back home. She’s got things in the oven, things on the stove, things waiting to be mixed on the table and two babies 3 and under crying their tears out. Talk about frustrating and exhausting at the same time. So the woman picks up the 2 year old son, rocking him trying to console him while letting her 3 year old know she’ll be right there in just a minute. But the 3 year old doesn’t seem to take too well to being made to wait, so she cries even more. With dinner preparations interrupted, a son in her lap refusing consolation and a 3 year old crying in the near distance, the woman begins to inwardly break down hoping to be rescued. This was nothing really major that she hadn’t handled before but, working off only 3 hours of sleep and blaming herself in her mind for staying up super late, caused the woman to slightly crumble with exasperation.

But then…the door unlocks and the knob turns. “In Walks A Man”...a hard working Man who just finished working 13 hours. Tired, sweaty, not smelling the best, looking like he just woe out.. not wore out but WOE OUT. He walks in and immediately the 2 year old son who refused the woman’s consolation quickly stops crying, gets up and runs to this Man with outstretched hands. While holding the 2 year old, the Man turns the corner towards the 3 year old daughter who’s still crying. “In walks a Man” to where she was and instead of ceasing from crying, she cries harder upon seeing the Man as if she had been missing the Man all day. The Man takes his free arm and picks up the daughter too. Before she knows it, the Man has both the son and daughter in both arms embracing them strongly and consoling them both effortlessly. Before he sits down while holding the two, he stands with seemingly room for one more…the woman. The woman walks towards him and the Man hugs her with both arms around the two youngest children then she rests upon what remained of his chest, squeezed between the two babies. And it was at that very moment that the woman was reminded of Our Heavenly Father who has room for us all in His arms, in His loving embrace. The Man was not only those children’s father but he was also the woman’s husband. And everything became well when he walked in. Now let’s bring this thing to clarity.

The woman is me, OEV. The Man is my husband, PAV (I know y’all know that too ūüėÄ ). The children are our youngest two of the five. All I know is when that Man, My Man walked in, all that wasn’t well became well. All I know is when that Man walked in, what was turning out to be chaotic before he got home, was now calm…simply because he walked in.

You see, good things happen when a Man walks in. When a male walks in, things either go from bad to worse or they remain the same. But when a Man walks in, things get better or has the potential to get better with some work. Because Joy comes with him. Pain relief comes with him as well. And just when you’re so mad at life and you’re ready to give up, “in walks a Man”¬†with the confidence to encourage you up out of your misery and back into the equanimity you feel when he’s around. Yasssssss! And even if there’s trouble around, a Man walking in gives trouble a serious run for its money. You see, when a male walks in, he could be a trouble maker but when a Man walks in, he’s the trouble taker. Males make trouble, Men take trouble and turn it into calm. Y’all..don’t…hear…me..tho..

This doesn’t mean Men are perfect. It doesn’t mean my Man is perfect, it just means even when we are at odds in our marriage, when my husband walks in, I know no matter what we’re dealing with, he’s gon’ shut it down and work to make things right. No matter if I pout. No matter if I try the silent treatment. No matter if my attitude ain’t right. No matter if his tone ain’t the best. No matter if he don’t agree with what I’m saying. When my husband walks in, ain’t nobody walking out unchanged. Even when our children are restless and rambunctious and I’m struggling to get them all the way in order, when my husband walks in, order is restored. So what am I saying and what has this go to do with you?

I’m saying single women, when I was choosing this man to be my husband, I chose him based on the fruit that showed me he was the type of Man who would work through the craziest mess in marriage. I chose him because his actions showed me he was a righteous man. I chose him because even though he had issues just as I did, I knew he would love me through every issue, every outburst and every self imposed crazy moment I ever created in our marriage. And though this is the Man who walked out on me in year 5 of our marriage, he is also the same man who walked back in, worked with me and made this thang right 12 years and 5 children later.

So do NOT settle for them unrighteous males¬†who look good to marry. Don’t rush into relationships with males who got it made financially but ain’t got it made righteously. Don’t fall for the males who can recite every scripture but can’t SHOW YOU how to apply them same scriptures they quote. Because when the ish hit the fan in marriage, Men are the ones that’s gon’ come through this piece and work everything out with you as best as they can. Those are the kind of perfectly flawed Men you want to give a chance in getting to know you. Men with Standards. Men who are Righteous and Men who can walk into a room and change the entire game up.

And what’s so amazing is you can be just going on about your life, praying, working towards and preparing for this type of man while in the worst season of your life, yet “In Walks A Man” into your life ready to change that season for you or walk through that season with you. And if you don’t think this can happen, you betta ask me. I can tell you some stories honey. LOL! Be Encouraged Single Ladies! I got lots more where this came from. You may say it ain’t a lot of good men like this out here but as I always say, you only need ONE. ūüėČ ~ OEV

#InWalksAMan #ATrulyFaithfulMan #BeTrulyFaithful #TrulyFaithful

Psalm 1:1-3, “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in His law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper”.

Please share this blog post if it blessed you and also join my online Kingdom Building Community for women below where we talk in detail about topics like this and so much more.


The Building of a Nation Starts with YOU!

“Men, I believe if we teach our sons how to be providers as they become men, how to treat women, how to be in control of their sexuality, how to value their purity as young boys, how to be leaders in their homes and communities, how to operate in their God given masculinity, while also teaching our sons to honor marriage, we will help greatly in decreasing the many fatherless, broken and dysfunctional homes we have in this world today, especially in our own communities”. ~ PAV

“Women, I believe if we teach our daughters to know their worth, to value their sexuality and their bodies, to empower them in their educational creativity, to help them understand that being a help meet is a strong active role in society as a whole, not a weak, inactive one only done in marriage, how to honor marriage while also teaching our daughters to support masculinity while operating fully in their God given femininity, we will help greatly in decreasing the epidemic of leaving legacies of broken relationships, out of wedlock births and extreme poverty”. ~ OEV

“Men and Women, we believe in being Faithful to Marriage, Faithful to Family and Faithful to Legacy (Building). In order to have healthy marriages, strong and loving families and positive legacies tomorrow, it starts with building our marriage, our family and our legacy TODAY”!

We’re already doing this and are working to do it even better. Have you started? Are you doing your part? ¬†What steps are you taking to get this done? ¬†Comment and let us know! ~ PAV &OEV


Psalm 112:1-3, “Praise the Lord! ¬†Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in His commandments! ¬†His offspring will be mighty in the land, the generation of the upright will be blessed. ¬†Wealth and riches are in His house and His righteousness endures forever”.

Psalm 78:4, “We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and His might, and the wonders that He has done”.

Deut 6:5-7, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise”.



Wanna join OEV’s Online Kingdom Building Community for Women? ¬†Sign up here.


Wanna join PAV’s Online Kingdom Building Community for Men? ¬†Sign up here.

“The Removal of A Thorn”! ~ OEV


When you’re not lookin’ your best… ¬†When you’re not actin your best… When you’re coming up short in this marriage thing…and he still loves you anyway? ¬†That is priceless to me! ¬†I love my Man…because here lately, I ain’t been that Chic. ¬†But he’s been loving me as best as he can! ¬†And I have those moments where I’m over sensitive, where I overreact and where I seemingly lose my positioning. ¬†And even my¬†husband¬†can be the same way. ¬†I mean, there are times, he’s acting up just as much as I am. ¬†But we understand this one thing. Divorce is no longer an option. ¬†We took that option off the table in 2009 once we reconciled our marriage. ¬†So we know we gon’ work it out.

We came¬†into the New Year with an issue. ¬†That issue started in late 2015 and followed us right into 2016. ¬†It’s been a thorn and then FINALLY, the thorn broke. ¬†But it broke off deep into our sides..like way off in there. ¬†Which means, no one on the outside could see it, but we both felt it and it hurt like hell and we were angry. ¬†So we had to take a break. ¬†A break from Scoping and a break from speaking together publicly. ¬†Why? ¬†Because when you got issues, you got to get those issues worked out BEFORE you get back out there together. ¬†Unfortunately yet fortunately, things don’t always get worked out as quickly as we want them to.


So we had to yield to the Spirit, but that was after we each had our say. ¬†Because at the end of our say we STILL didn’t agree. ¬†Then what? ¬†Most would say, “If you both don’t agree, then the wife submits and goes with the husband’s decision”. ¬†But where does it say that? ¬†That if the husband and wife do not agree, the wife just concedes and submits, especially when she’s already submitting? ¬†Where does it say that husband and wife just go with what the husband says when they both disagree or that he has the last say? ¬†What if he’s totally wrong? ¬†What if she’s being like Abigail and he’s being like Nabal, then what? ¬†(Thought provoking huh?)


Listen, please hear me clearly, the wife is always to submit to her husband…in everything. ¬†That’s the word. ¬†And the husband is to love his wife like Christ loves the church always. ¬†That’s also the word. ¬†But husband and wife will not always agree. ¬†And that doesn’t mean, both just go with what the husband says all the time. ¬†No, sometimes that means NO DECISION IS MADE until there is clarity. ¬†Where does clarity come from? ¬†The Most High! ¬†In what way? ¬†It can come in many ways. ¬†Through His word, by His Holy Spirit, in prayer, through wise counsel or more. ¬†So once that thorn broke off deep into our sides, there was more pain and we just had to get it out! ¬†My husband spoke his peace and I spoke mine. ¬†We still didn’t agree. ¬†I said my peace again, he said his peace again and yet again we still didn’t agree. ¬†I prayed, he prayed, opposition was still in the mist.


So it happened!  The ish hit the fan and we had some words.



He walked to cool off and I calmed down.  The small break did us both good as I texted my mentor what happened and then called my best friend at 7am to ask her to pray for us.  And then sometime after that, I texted my husband and he responded.  I wanted my man to forgive me.  He wanted his woman to forgive him.  So we apologized.  The more we apologized through texts, the more the thorn that was once deep in our sides started to protrude from our sides.  It could be seen clearly now.  When he walked in the door and hugged me, the thorn began to come our more.  When he kissed me, the thorn was easing its way out of our sides.  When we stood before our children to apologize for arguing to where they could overhear, the thorn began to break apart.  When we allowed them to speak on how they felt about our disagreement, the thorn started crumbling from our sides, falling to the floor while leaving an open womb.  But when we prayed as a family, our sides began to heal right as we prayed.  We could feel the overwhelming power of being healed!  HalleluYah!


There’s still a scar on our sides. ¬†It’s visible when you look there, but it’s HEALED! ¬†The thorn in our sides that hindered us in the last part of 2015 and followed us into 2016 is finally gone. ¬†It didn’t get removed just because the new year started. ¬†It didn’t get removed just because we’re believers. ¬†It didn’t get removed because we said our “sorry’s”.. ¬†No, it finally got removed when we apologized, confessed to each other our wrongs, repented to one another and then turned around and confessed to our children, allowed them to tell us how they felt about Daddy and Mommy arguing and then prayed together as a family. ¬†In other words, it was removed when we finally gave up having our way and let The Most High have His way…even though it was through a series of events.


It took disagreeing last year, praying together, seeking counsel, asking others for prayer, getting more wise counsel, still disagreeing this year, getting heated, cooling off, making up, confessing and then praying together to get our thorn removed. ¬†Do I like that it took all of that? ¬†Well for the most part I would say no. ¬†Why? ¬†Because honestly, we just want to get it right, right then. ¬†I mean, we don’t really want to go through all of that just to get it right. ¬†Who does? ¬†But this is marriage. ¬†And this is growth of two imperfect people who love each other and The Most High. ¬†This is one way we learn when we are wrong and we miss it and we need grace. ¬†Not only from The Father but from one another. ¬†Arguing to where your children can hear you is a big no no to us, straight up. ¬†But it happened. ¬†And we let it happen. ¬†And we are firm believers that if we miss it in front of our children, then we better make it right in front of our children. ¬†This keeps them secure in knowing Daddy and Mommy aren’t perfect, but¬†we make our wrongs right and we love each other and we love them too. ¬†They get to see up close and personal how marriage God’s way really is. ¬†WORK! ¬†But we love to work it and our children are here because of our “love work“.


So to married couples who miss the mark. ¬†You know…the few of you out there like us, (as all others are perfect right? ūüėČ ), please understand that just because there’s a thorn in your sides right now and you’re at odds with each other, doesn’t mean you won’t work it out. ¬†Sometimes, you just need a little more time as not everything is worked out overnight. ¬†Let love have its perfect work and please remember it’s love that covers a multitude of sin. ¬†Even the “we missed the mark in front of our children” sin and the “we can’t seemingly agree on this no matter what” sin.

What you see in this picture is a couple who understands His grace; who understand that peace normally comes after a storm but that we’re willing to go through the storm to get to that peace. ¬†Even if it means cleaning up the debris from the storm WE caused. ¬†Be Encouraged Couples! ~ OEV


Prov 28:13, “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy”. ¬†(I thank The Most High for His mercy indeed).


1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness”. ¬†ūüôā

‚ÄúNo More Lazy Sex‚ÄĚ! ~ PAV




No More Lazy Sex PAV


For the Husbands and Single Bruhs!

Sorry, but you canNOT bring your “hay-day way” of having sex into your marriage and think your wife will be pleased! That’s just like calling every woman from your past and saying “Hey! Come join my wife and I..!” Your intimacy with your wife will be MESSED UP.

You have to delete¬†what you learned in the world and REBOOT your learning of sex with your wife because those other women were NOT your wife so you can’t bring those past “styles” into your present marriage. This is one of the many ways of doing marriage God’s way when it comes to pleasing your wife. And if you think for one minute that you’re gonna “get yours” and roll over and go to sleep afterwards thinking that’s it, brotha you need to renew your mind in a hurry! Because sex is not over until you BOTH get yours..!

Renew your mind about the “Gift of Sex” and learn that sex is selfless but fornication is selfish. Fornication focuses on YOU. Sex (in marriage) focuses on your WIFE! The word says in 1 Cor 7:3a that, “The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs…” Do you see? That means in sex it’s not about you, it’s about your wife. You are to make sure that her need is fulfilled. Too many times in marriage only the husbands are getting fulfilled sexually and the wives are left deprived. And wives can be feeling deprived whether the couple is having sex or not. In other words, in some marriages, the wife is deprived because she’s not getting enough sex from her husband. She’s “sex starved”. But in other marriages, the couple is having sex but only the husband is fulfilled. She’s sexually unfulfilled. And many times we husbands are doing this because of the bad habits we picked up in the world when we were fornicating. Now that we’re married, the sexual baggage and residue of fornication is now hindering our sex life with our wives. How so?

Because in fornication, we were about getting ours. And if a man does this enough times, it can become a habit that anytime sex takes place, whether illicit sex or legal sex, the man gets his and doesn’t make sure the woman is totally pleased. Time to renew your mind on sex men, whether single or married. Single men it would do you good to renew your mind now before you marry so that there is less chance of you bringing the residue of sexual sin into your marriage and hindering your sex life with your wife. Husbands, it would do you good to renew your mind now, talk to wife and ask her is she truly being fulfilled sexually. If she says no, then its time to ask her why, ask her what can you do to make things right and TAKE ACTION!

It can be done men. Trust, as I’ve had to do the same thing! I found out that sex is about giving and pleasing my wife, so I had to stop being lazy when it came to making sure my wife was pleased and do the work! Remember, we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us, yes even in making sure we have NO MORE LAZY SEX! Let’s Get It Men! ¬†We got wives to please! ¬†ūüėČ





“Love Her Like Christ”! ~ PAV



“A husband‚Äôs love for his wife should be just like Christ‚Äôs love for His bride”! ~ PAV

Eph 5:25 (NIV), “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…”

The way Christ loved the church is the standard in how husbands are to love their wives! If Christ doesn’t hit his bride, cheat on his bride, flirt with someone else’s bride, lie to His bride, neglect His bride or mistreat His bride, then husbands why should we?

We are to love our wives like Christ loves His bride. If we need any help in doing this we should go to the throne of the One who can help us. Let’s not think that to love our wives in this way is impossible because every command God gave us to do, is doable and not burdensome. Why? Because He will help us to do all that is required of us as husbands if we allow Him to help us.

Be encouraged Husbands! When we operate in Christ, it becomes our very nature to love our wives as we have been called to do because if we are believing husbands, we should be clothed with the one we believe in; which is Christ (Rom 13:14)!


1 John 5:3 (NLT), “Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome”.

Biblical Roles of Marriage Part III: ‚ÄúThe Role of A Godly Husband.‚ÄĚ #2 ~ PAV

Merry Christmas!

1 Peter 3:7 (NASB), “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and SHOW HER HONOR as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered”.

In 1 Peter 3:7, the word HONOR really stands out when referenced as how husbands are to be with their wives. The word ‘honor’ means ‘high respect, as for worth, merit, or rank: such respect manifested: high public esteem’. It’s important that husbands understand this because a husband who HONORS his wife will NEVER cheat on her. A husband who HONORS his wife will ALWAYS provide for her as best as he can. A husband who HONORS his wife will not abuse her. Why? Because a husband who HONORS his wife respects his wife HIGHLY as the gift from God that she is!

When I was a newlywed, I was at work one day thinking about the argument my wife and I had earlier that morning. While I was working the Lord began to speak to me about the way I saw my wife. All of a suddenly, I saw a picture of a vase. The vase looked so delicate and very expensive. The Lord then asked me how much did I think the vase was worth. Without hesitating I said out-loud to the Lord, “PRICELESS”. Then the Lord told me that the vase represented MY WIFE! Everything hit me SO HARD as I realized I had not been treating my wife like the delicacy that she is. Her worth is FAR ABOVE RUBIES (Prov 31:10). Not just to me but TO GOD! God is SERIOUS about the way His sons treat His daughters! Yes my wife and I share in the “grace of life” and yes we BOTH serve God individually as well as together but God has called me as her husband to HONOR HER! And I am to honor her above ALL OTHERS ON THIS EARTH as she is the ONE I am in covenant with.

To this day I have definitely missed the mark many times with treating my wife with the honor I am supposed to. And the interesting thing is whether my wife submits to me or not, reverences me or not or obeys me or not, I am STILL to HONOR her in our marriage as MY WIFE!

In my HONEST opinion, this is where so many believing husbands miss it and miss it often. We think that we are to be honored by our wives yet we forget God has called us to also honor our wives. Not only that, we are to dwell with our wives in an understanding way. Col 3:19 tells us husbands AGAIN to love our wives but also not to be harsh with them. God has a way he wants us to be with our wives DAILY! I have failed at this many times but as I grow, I am reminded of the delicate vase God showed me as a newlywed.

If you noticed in yesterday’s write-up as well as this one, I don’t mention much about the husband providing. Why is that? Because men hear this ALL OF THE TIME just like women hear about submission all of the time. Most men KNOW they are to provide for their wives and children. The problem is, we husbands can get so caught up in providing that we forget to do ALL the other things God has called us to do as husbands. And this is why our prayers can be hindered as stated in 1 Peter 3:7 if we are not doing our roles as we should.

Husbands if we honor our wives, if we treat and walk with our wives in an understanding way, if we remain TRULY FAITHFUL to our wives, lead and guide our wives in God’s truth as we should as well as provide for them etc, then we are loving our wives as Christ loves the church. Many husbands, I’m sure, do things differently than I do and that is why the way I run my household may not look like the household of another Godly husband but as long as we do our role, it doesn’t matter if husbands’ households look exactly the same. What matters is that we are fulfilling the commandments God has given us as husbands to do.

The way I treat my wife may be different than the way you treat your wife but as long as we are HONORING our wives then we are in obedience to the word of God. The way I provide for my wife and children may be different than the way another husband provides for his wife and children but as long as we husbands are providing for the needs of our wives and and children then we are in obedience to what the word of God commands us to do as husbands. Do you all see what I mean?

The biblical role of the husband is to be done regardless of the wife doing her role in the marriage. This is why we are commanded to give up OUR LIVES FOR OUR WIVES. I want to leave husbands with a small example of doing this in my own marriage before I end this post.

I can’t remember how long ago this happened but I came home extremely tired from working ALL DAY so I just wanted to get some rest. My wife had ALSO been working extremely hard all day with the children and keeping the house so she was just as tired as I was. The children, though very happy to see me, was pulling at me from every direction. My wife went to our bedroom to retreat just a bit before dinner but I TOO wanted to retreat and felt she should allow me a break since I had been working outside all day and was literally drained.

When I realized my wife had already retreated, I was not happy about it because I was thinking about how tired I was. My children were asking me questions, asking me to play with them, wanting me to get them things and more. But on top of that there was whining, a lot of noise, constantly needing me to get up and bathroom visits for my smaller two that only I or my wife could take care of. I felt as if I was going to BREAK. So I went to our bedroom and quickly said to my wife, “I need a break”. Without waiting for an answer, I hurried down the hall to our home office and immediately locked the door. I just knew I was about to breath a little bit and get myself together but the next thing I know, my wife was unlocking the door and she said, “Sorry honey but you can’t take a break right now. One of us has to be with the children and it’s not going to be me as I’ve been with them all day and I must have a moment to rest”.

I was REALLY upset. I began to justify why I should be the one to take the break and why she should instead be with the children a little longer. After all, I had been working hard all day outside of the home. So while in the middle of pleading my case to her, the Holy Spirit said very quietly, “Who’s commanded to give up their life for the other? You or your wife?” My lips ceased to move just like that. I could not say another word at that moment. My wife was looking at me wondering what was going on with me as I had cut myself off from pleading my case with instantaneous silence. I then said to her, “I’m sorry Babe. You get your rest and I will take care of them”. She looked puzzled but went to rest anyway.

Now please don’t miss the point of this post. MOST times I really do believe the husband who works outside of the home should be allowed to rest when he gets home from work but that can’t always be. Just because I believe that’s the way it should always be doesn’t mean that it will be because as the scripture says and as the Lord asked me, WHO did God call to die and give up their very life in the marriage? The Wife? No! The HUSBAND is required to give up his life for his wife! We were BOTH tired and beat but we have children to take care of. And it really was not about my wife having been with the children all day but more about was I going to deny myself for my wife to be OK. Was I going to put myself LAST in order for her to be FIRST and then my children? You may ask, “But where did you get strength from”? HA! FROM THE LORD! As I walked back to where our children were, I prayed a very QUICK prayer telling the Lord I needed Him more than ever so I would not lash out in frustration and tiredness towards my children. And did not the Lord do it? YES HE DID! His wisdom also set in where He gave me the idea to turn on a nice family movie, get some snacks and sit in our family room with our children. While they watched the movie, I got a chance to relax in God’s Grace WITH my children and got the break I needed after all.

That is an example of putting my wife BEFORE MYSELF and in the end God was GLORIFIED!!! Husbands I’m not saying it was easy because it wasn’t, but GOD GOT ME THROUGH. God HELPED ME to do my role when I did not want to. Does that mean my wife NEVER goes that extra mile for me at times and say, “I got this Babe; get some rest”? No because she does. But what I am saying is I am COMMANDED to give my life up for my wife not the other way around.

Husbands, God can help us to be the GODLY HUSBANDS He has called us to be because this can NOT be done in our own strength! We are too weak to do this alone. But that’s ok because when we are weak, WE ARE STRONG (2 Cor 12:10)! How? Because we are strong IN CHRIST! Be blessed My Brothers!

Again, please share our post with AS MANY as you can. Thanks everyone!

“The Consequences of Sexual Sin: We will REAP What We SOW”! ~ PAV


Shortly after we were married, when it came to sex, I was trying to do all the things I had done when I was a fornicator. Although we repented for our sexual sins before marriage there were still CONSEQUENCES for those sins that we had to deal with after marriage. Why? Because no matter the sin, there will ALWAYS be consequences to sin, whether big or small. So once after sex as newlyweds, my wife rolled over towards the wall and didn’t say a word so I went to sleep. About an hour or so later she woke me up to talk. We ended up talking for hours because she shared with me all the things she did not like, how disappointed she was after sex because she did not climax and she also confessed how she would sometimes fake orgasms for fear of hurting my feelings. I was hurt and a little embarrassed but I had to take it like a man and own up to the fact that I had NO CLUE about what sex in marriage was. I only knew how to fornicate, not have sex. And where did I learn to fornicate? From porn and selfish acts of fornication with other women before I married. My wife was also learning how to please me as well but to be honest, it was so easy for me to climax so I had to LEARN how to slow down so that I could finish what I started with my wife and not before my wife! I did not get this overnight, but we both enjoyed learning together how to please each other and we still work at this now.

Now what were the consequences of our sexual sin? Well one is we can not say we are the only ones we’ve ever been with sexually. You only get one life and that is the story of ours. Also, when our children are older, we will have to admit to them as we raise them in purity that we didn’t make it before marriage, and we are not looking forward to that. And even though God restored us to make it feel like we were virgins again, we had to unlearn so much junk that we learned from the world. But the biggest one and the one we both hated the most was, sometimes in the middle of sex we would have to cast down thoughts of those we had fornicated with in the past. I absolutely HATED those moments. But this is why we stress abstaining and renewing your minds for those who have fallen into fornication because that is what it took for us to be able to forget those images. It’s to the point now that I only have sexually images of being with my wife! (Thank you Lord).

Now I want to talk to men for a minute. Some of you may think it’s cool to fornicate, but I assure you, when you find the right one for you and you marry her, you will have to face the consequences for the sexual sins you commit before marriage unless you repent now. I am man enough to say that I did NOT know how to please my wife sexually in marriage, I only knew how to please MYSELF. But God restored me after I repented and I was able to fully learn together with my wife. Can I just be honest with you all and tell you we had some very awkward moments during the learning process? Sometimes I wouldn’t hear my wife say a thing during sex and I wondered why. So when I would ask she would say, “Well I’m trying not to fake it”! LOL! We can laugh about it now, but then it hurt my manhood deep. *hits my chest three times* LOL! And that is why we talk before, during and after sex because we both want to make sure we are pleasing each other. Fornication can cause men especially to become very selfish because when you’re fornicating you are about “getting yours”. So if you carry those worldly, carnal, sinful acts of whoring into your marriage, you can defile the marriage bed and end up not pleasing your wife. You will find that there cannot be GREAT SEX until you renew your mind on what sex really is; an act of worship with your spouse before The Most High. Once you experience that, you will NEVER go back to the sinful things you did in the world.

There are many other consequences of sexual sin and some we dealt with before marriage so they did not follow us into marriage. But the best news of the day is that God can restore us when we truly repent. We are the testimonies of how God can restore His people when it comes to sex in marriage. It’s time to be restored and made whole from sexual sin! So confess, repent, renew your mind and GO AND SIN NO MORE!

Gal 6:7-8, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life”.

Rom 6:21, “What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death”!

John 5:14, “Behold, thou art made whole: SIN NO MORE, lest a worse thing come unto thee”.

Share this blog post with as MANY as you can! Thanks Fam!