“Marriage or Nah”? ~ OEV


I know, I know…I was supposed to be praying too but I just had to capture the moment.  To open my eyes, grab my phone and snap a pic of my husband praying with our children before bed is one of those moments that lets me know we got it right.  Yeah…we did.
What did we get right?  We did something different to meet someone different.  We put our cards on the table from jump.  No surprises, no second guessing.  From the moment we first talked we made it clear that it was “Marriage or Nah”.  We got to know each other with no strings attached for a year even tho PAV was tryna marry me within the first months of meeting lol (You gotta know the whole story tho).  There was no kissing, no making out, no nothing during that “getting to know stage”.  Straight acquaintances with a mission of “friends who could possibly marry” was the deal.  That way if we weren’t feeling each other, we could move along without any emotional or sexual ties.
We became exclusive after that first year.  When he would take me to his church he made it known I was that chick.  You know, ‘His Lady’.  And my goodness did I love the way he would introduce me to “the church”.  The church who would judge me prematurely and sometimes un-righteously because I wasn’t raised in the church like him, wasn’t C.O.G.I.C. like him and definitely wasn’t “saved like him”.  But I was on his arm because he chose me. And what many didn’t realize was that I received his choice and chose him in return. It wasn’t one sided.  It was very mutual.  I had to win his parents over being that I was not the church girl type but winning them over was worth the man.
2 years later after many “dating trials”, he made it official and gave me the ring…proposing to me while we were watching the airplanes land and take off.  We had some trials while engaged but I was here for it, so we married 2 years later.  Can’t believe I was really tryna divorce him 5 years after.  But here we are…married still.  12 years in the deal.  Husband and wife for real for real.  With five beautiful babies we pray for, who we slay for and are steadily paving the way for.
So to be at a point where I watch this man I said Yes to pray with all of our children is a moment I had to capture. Not for my sake or yours but more so for my children’s sake. So that when they’re older they’ll always have this moment in print. Tho our 2 and 4 year old may not remember this, they’ll be able to see this pic and have this moment for life and see that…their parents really did do something right. We found one another, observed each other. Sealed the deal with each other. Then brought each of our children into this world and declared we would raise them up in the admonition of The Most High and teach them His ways. And it didn’t start that night. It started in July 1999, became serious in August 2000, made official in July 2002 and finalized in May 2004. Then we started our legacy in 2006, continued it in 2008, added to it in 2010, filled it more in 2012 and built it higher in 2014. Whoooo! We got a lot to do right? So what’s my point in all this right? What is OEV getting at?

My point is to get to this moment…to get this right…to be here in all of this right now today, we had to declare from the beginning that it was “Marriage or Nah”.And this is also what we’re showing our children. I mean, who has that kinda time to be wasting on “Nah” when time is pointing to Marriage? Who has that kinda heart to keep putting up with “Nah” when the heart is desiring Marriage? I mean really tho…who has that kinda strength to continually be weakened on “Nah” when it wants to be stronger in Marriage? I didn’t. And neither do you.

You’re single and you desire marriage..then it’s time to get a “Marriage or Nah” mentality about your life right now. This doesn’t mean nothing else matters, it simply means that the foolishness that comes with “Nah” is over and no longer needs your energy. I gave lots of details above to share our history together. Sure we had some ups and downs along the way, but we were still throwing up “Marriage or Nah” through it all.


You no longer have time to waste, you no longer have a heart to be broken by people playing games and you no longer have the strength to put towards “Nah”. Instead set some #MarriageGoals and then spend some time working towards those goals. It’s OK to want it, think of it, prepare for it and desire it. It’s honorable remember? So to desire something honorable is actually a very beautiful thing. But you gotta let go of the “Nah” because it’s possibly holding you up from what you truly desire..Marriage.

And last thing, if you’re Married, work to stay together. Remember divorce is nothing more than a “Nah” but in a different context. Not saying all marriages will work out, but at the very least give it your all and work to stay together as best as YOU can so that no matter what happens, you know you was all about that Marriage life! ? ~ OEV

Did I say something that blessed you?  Confused you?  Hit a nerve or inspired you!  Leave a comment and let me know.  I assure you of a timely response.  Love you Fam .  ?
PS  Hey Ladies…wanna join me in my private Facebook group for Queens only?  Click here and join me NOW.  See you there.


The Building of a Nation Starts with YOU!

“Men, I believe if we teach our sons how to be providers as they become men, how to treat women, how to be in control of their sexuality, how to value their purity as young boys, how to be leaders in their homes and communities, how to operate in their God given masculinity, while also teaching our sons to honor marriage, we will help greatly in decreasing the many fatherless, broken and dysfunctional homes we have in this world today, especially in our own communities”. ~ PAV

“Women, I believe if we teach our daughters to know their worth, to value their sexuality and their bodies, to empower them in their educational creativity, to help them understand that being a help meet is a strong active role in society as a whole, not a weak, inactive one only done in marriage, how to honor marriage while also teaching our daughters to support masculinity while operating fully in their God given femininity, we will help greatly in decreasing the epidemic of leaving legacies of broken relationships, out of wedlock births and extreme poverty”. ~ OEV

“Men and Women, we believe in being Faithful to Marriage, Faithful to Family and Faithful to Legacy (Building). In order to have healthy marriages, strong and loving families and positive legacies tomorrow, it starts with building our marriage, our family and our legacy TODAY”!

We’re already doing this and are working to do it even better. Have you started? Are you doing your part?  What steps are you taking to get this done?  Comment and let us know! ~ PAV &OEV


Psalm 112:1-3, “Praise the Lord!  Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in His commandments!  His offspring will be mighty in the land, the generation of the upright will be blessed.  Wealth and riches are in His house and His righteousness endures forever”.

Psalm 78:4, “We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and His might, and the wonders that He has done”.

Deut 6:5-7, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise”.



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“I’m Still Qualified”! ~ OEV

I'm the most imperfect person you're going to find in this world. But I'm still qualified to speak the truth of The Most High. I'm the most flawed person this side of heaven. But I'm still qualified to share the truth of Yahshua. I miss the mark. I can be emotional. I am wrong a lot of times. I can be your best friend or your worst friend when I'm not in control of my feelings. But I'm still qualified to lead those The Most High have put in front of me to lead. I can miss it as a wife at times. I can miss it as a Mother at times too. But I'm still qualified to be a help to many wives and many mothers. I can be disingenuous but still honest. I can be insolent at times but still polite overall. I can be aggressive at times but diffident as well. I am an extrovert but have times where I'm an ambivert. I can be loud when addressing others but quiet as well. I can be strong in my expressions but gentle in my delivery. At any given time I can mess up every single thing I've worked very hard to overcome, but even in all of that, I am still qualified to do what The Most High has called me to do.

People will disqualify you for every mishap, every bad decision you make, every mistake you can't seem to shake and every sinful step you may take. But in the end, it is not man who qualifies you but The Most High. And who He calls, He qualifies. Who He qualifies, He prepares. Who He prepares, He also forgives when they repent. And who He forgives, He gives them another chance. Many of you just want another chance to get it right today. Many of you feel you have dropped the ball so much that you are no longer qualified to do what He's called you to do. Many of you feel the need to be sat down, refused, denied, put aside, left hangin, even punished all because you have been on a roll with messing up. But I am here to tell you that I know what it's like to be in a funk to where all it seems like you're doing is messing up left and right. I know what it's like to question yourself asking, "Damn!  Can I do anything right? Can I just do one thing right to get me out of this mess? Can I just get out of this rut and thrive instead of just survive? Can I get out of my feelings instead of be all up in them all the time? Will I ever get my finances together?  Will I ever just make it in this area instead of always struggling in this area?" My Goodness!!!  I know, I know, I've felt this way many times. But I got news for you.

​You are not disqualified because you missed it this morning or last night with your wife or husband. You are not disqualified because you lost your cool with the people on your job or with your children. You are not disqualified because you had wicked thoughts about someone who hurt you and did you wrong. You are not disqualified because you tried to end your life when depression got the best of you. You are not disqualified because you made a fool of yourself in front of those you love. You are not disqualified because you fell into sin after giving in to horniness. You are not disqualified because you lied when human resources asked had you ever been late on a job and you said no just to get the job. You are not disqualified because you've been missing paying tithes to pay your bills and take care of your children. You are not disqualified because you have been falling short in so many areas of life where others are succeeding. You are not disqualified because you feel you should be much further along than you are right now. You are not disqualified because your marriage is a mess. You are not disqualified because you're in your 30's and 40's and still not married. You are not disqualified because you're broke right now.  You are not disqualified...Why not? Because you are still HIS! If you are still His and you are still up in this piece working to get the best out of this life, then you are still qualified. If you still have breath...if you still have life...if you still have space and opportunity...if you still have your right mind...if you still have the willingness to get better...if you're still fighting to make it, then no my friend, you are not disqualified. Know this...No man on earth can disqualify you. If The Most High says you're qualified, then YOU ARE STILL QUALIFIED!

​So get up, repent if you need to, pray because it's what you should do, reach out if you have to. Then wash your face, drink some water, look in that mirror and say "I'm Still Qualified", then be on your way and go do what you are still qualified to do! ~ OEV





Rom 8:30, "And those whom He predestined He also called, and those whom He called He also justified, and those whom He justified He also glorified".

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I'm Still Qualified