The Building of a Nation Starts with YOU!

“Men, I believe if we teach our sons how to be providers as they become men, how to treat women, how to be in control of their sexuality, how to value their purity as young boys, how to be leaders in their homes and communities, how to operate in their God given masculinity, while also teaching our sons to honor marriage, we will help greatly in decreasing the many fatherless, broken and dysfunctional homes we have in this world today, especially in our own communities”. ~ PAV

“Women, I believe if we teach our daughters to know their worth, to value their sexuality and their bodies, to empower them in their educational creativity, to help them understand that being a help meet is a strong active role in society as a whole, not a weak, inactive one only done in marriage, how to honor marriage while also teaching our daughters to support masculinity while operating fully in their God given femininity, we will help greatly in decreasing the epidemic of leaving legacies of broken relationships, out of wedlock births and extreme poverty”. ~ OEV

“Men and Women, we believe in being Faithful to Marriage, Faithful to Family and Faithful to Legacy (Building). In order to have healthy marriages, strong and loving families and positive legacies tomorrow, it starts with building our marriage, our family and our legacy TODAY”!

We’re already doing this and are working to do it even better. Have you started? Are you doing your part?  What steps are you taking to get this done?  Comment and let us know! ~ PAV &OEV

 

Psalm 112:1-3, “Praise the Lord!  Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in His commandments!  His offspring will be mighty in the land, the generation of the upright will be blessed.  Wealth and riches are in His house and His righteousness endures forever”.

Psalm 78:4, “We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and His might, and the wonders that He has done”.

Deut 6:5-7, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise”.

 

 

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Wanna join PAV’s Online Kingdom Building Community for Men?  Sign up here.

“The Removal of A Thorn”! ~ OEV

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When you’re not lookin’ your best…  When you’re not actin your best… When you’re coming up short in this marriage thing…and he still loves you anyway?  That is priceless to me!  I love my Man…because here lately, I ain’t been that Chic.  But he’s been loving me as best as he can!  And I have those moments where I’m over sensitive, where I overreact and where I seemingly lose my positioning.  And even my husband can be the same way.  I mean, there are times, he’s acting up just as much as I am.  But we understand this one thing. Divorce is no longer an option.  We took that option off the table in 2009 once we reconciled our marriage.  So we know we gon’ work it out.

We came into the New Year with an issue.  That issue started in late 2015 and followed us right into 2016.  It’s been a thorn and then FINALLY, the thorn broke.  But it broke off deep into our sides..like way off in there.  Which means, no one on the outside could see it, but we both felt it and it hurt like hell and we were angry.  So we had to take a break.  A break from Scoping and a break from speaking together publicly.  Why?  Because when you got issues, you got to get those issues worked out BEFORE you get back out there together.  Unfortunately yet fortunately, things don’t always get worked out as quickly as we want them to.

 

So we had to yield to the Spirit, but that was after we each had our say.  Because at the end of our say we STILL didn’t agree.  Then what?  Most would say, “If you both don’t agree, then the wife submits and goes with the husband’s decision”.  But where does it say that?  That if the husband and wife do not agree, the wife just concedes and submits, especially when she’s already submitting?  Where does it say that husband and wife just go with what the husband says when they both disagree or that he has the last say?  What if he’s totally wrong?  What if she’s being like Abigail and he’s being like Nabal, then what?  (Thought provoking huh?)

 

Listen, please hear me clearly, the wife is always to submit to her husband…in everything.  That’s the word.  And the husband is to love his wife like Christ loves the church always.  That’s also the word.  But husband and wife will not always agree.  And that doesn’t mean, both just go with what the husband says all the time.  No, sometimes that means NO DECISION IS MADE until there is clarity.  Where does clarity come from?  The Most High!  In what way?  It can come in many ways.  Through His word, by His Holy Spirit, in prayer, through wise counsel or more.  So once that thorn broke off deep into our sides, there was more pain and we just had to get it out!  My husband spoke his peace and I spoke mine.  We still didn’t agree.  I said my peace again, he said his peace again and yet again we still didn’t agree.  I prayed, he prayed, opposition was still in the mist.

 

So it happened!  The ish hit the fan and we had some words.

 

 

He walked to cool off and I calmed down.  The small break did us both good as I texted my mentor what happened and then called my best friend at 7am to ask her to pray for us.  And then sometime after that, I texted my husband and he responded.  I wanted my man to forgive me.  He wanted his woman to forgive him.  So we apologized.  The more we apologized through texts, the more the thorn that was once deep in our sides started to protrude from our sides.  It could be seen clearly now.  When he walked in the door and hugged me, the thorn began to come our more.  When he kissed me, the thorn was easing its way out of our sides.  When we stood before our children to apologize for arguing to where they could overhear, the thorn began to break apart.  When we allowed them to speak on how they felt about our disagreement, the thorn started crumbling from our sides, falling to the floor while leaving an open womb.  But when we prayed as a family, our sides began to heal right as we prayed.  We could feel the overwhelming power of being healed!  HalleluYah!

 

There’s still a scar on our sides.  It’s visible when you look there, but it’s HEALED!  The thorn in our sides that hindered us in the last part of 2015 and followed us into 2016 is finally gone.  It didn’t get removed just because the new year started.  It didn’t get removed just because we’re believers.  It didn’t get removed because we said our “sorry’s”..  No, it finally got removed when we apologized, confessed to each other our wrongs, repented to one another and then turned around and confessed to our children, allowed them to tell us how they felt about Daddy and Mommy arguing and then prayed together as a family.  In other words, it was removed when we finally gave up having our way and let The Most High have His way…even though it was through a series of events.

 

It took disagreeing last year, praying together, seeking counsel, asking others for prayer, getting more wise counsel, still disagreeing this year, getting heated, cooling off, making up, confessing and then praying together to get our thorn removed.  Do I like that it took all of that?  Well for the most part I would say no.  Why?  Because honestly, we just want to get it right, right then.  I mean, we don’t really want to go through all of that just to get it right.  Who does?  But this is marriage.  And this is growth of two imperfect people who love each other and The Most High.  This is one way we learn when we are wrong and we miss it and we need grace.  Not only from The Father but from one another.  Arguing to where your children can hear you is a big no no to us, straight up.  But it happened.  And we let it happen.  And we are firm believers that if we miss it in front of our children, then we better make it right in front of our children.  This keeps them secure in knowing Daddy and Mommy aren’t perfect, but we make our wrongs right and we love each other and we love them too.  They get to see up close and personal how marriage God’s way really is.  WORK!  But we love to work it and our children are here because of our “love work“.

 

So to married couples who miss the mark.  You know…the few of you out there like us, (as all others are perfect right? 😉 ), please understand that just because there’s a thorn in your sides right now and you’re at odds with each other, doesn’t mean you won’t work it out.  Sometimes, you just need a little more time as not everything is worked out overnight.  Let love have its perfect work and please remember it’s love that covers a multitude of sin.  Even the “we missed the mark in front of our children” sin and the “we can’t seemingly agree on this no matter what” sin.

What you see in this picture is a couple who understands His grace; who understand that peace normally comes after a storm but that we’re willing to go through the storm to get to that peace.  Even if it means cleaning up the debris from the storm WE caused.  Be Encouraged Couples! ~ OEV

 

Prov 28:13, “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy”.  (I thank The Most High for His mercy indeed).

 

1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness”.  🙂

“No Wasting Time Checking Wayward Women”! ~ OEV

When people ask me what would I do when or if wayward women flirt with my husband knowing he’s married, my answer is always the same…NOTHING! That’s not my place. It is my husband’s place to check wayward women, not mine. Point?

Wives, if you’re having to put up fb statuses telling other women not to flirt with your husband etc, imo, you are out of line as the problem is not with other women…it is with your husband.

Remember, our husbands are to be our earthly protectors, even in this. But if they are not doing their jobs in protecting you in this manner, then it is not your job to do their jobs for them.

So take this issue up with your husband and also pray, but never try to do his job. Instead, hold your husband accountable, take it to the Lord in prayer, reach out to the Elders/Older Godly Wives if need be, then sit back and sip your tea knowing The Most High covers you in these matters even if your husband does not . ~ OEV ‪#‎NoStress‬

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“The Consequences of Sexual Sin: We will REAP What We SOW”! ~ PAV

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Shortly after we were married, when it came to sex, I was trying to do all the things I had done when I was a fornicator. Although we repented for our sexual sins before marriage there were still CONSEQUENCES for those sins that we had to deal with after marriage. Why? Because no matter the sin, there will ALWAYS be consequences to sin, whether big or small. So once after sex as newlyweds, my wife rolled over towards the wall and didn’t say a word so I went to sleep. About an hour or so later she woke me up to talk. We ended up talking for hours because she shared with me all the things she did not like, how disappointed she was after sex because she did not climax and she also confessed how she would sometimes fake orgasms for fear of hurting my feelings. I was hurt and a little embarrassed but I had to take it like a man and own up to the fact that I had NO CLUE about what sex in marriage was. I only knew how to fornicate, not have sex. And where did I learn to fornicate? From porn and selfish acts of fornication with other women before I married. My wife was also learning how to please me as well but to be honest, it was so easy for me to climax so I had to LEARN how to slow down so that I could finish what I started with my wife and not before my wife! I did not get this overnight, but we both enjoyed learning together how to please each other and we still work at this now.

Now what were the consequences of our sexual sin? Well one is we can not say we are the only ones we’ve ever been with sexually. You only get one life and that is the story of ours. Also, when our children are older, we will have to admit to them as we raise them in purity that we didn’t make it before marriage, and we are not looking forward to that. And even though God restored us to make it feel like we were virgins again, we had to unlearn so much junk that we learned from the world. But the biggest one and the one we both hated the most was, sometimes in the middle of sex we would have to cast down thoughts of those we had fornicated with in the past. I absolutely HATED those moments. But this is why we stress abstaining and renewing your minds for those who have fallen into fornication because that is what it took for us to be able to forget those images. It’s to the point now that I only have sexually images of being with my wife! (Thank you Lord).

Now I want to talk to men for a minute. Some of you may think it’s cool to fornicate, but I assure you, when you find the right one for you and you marry her, you will have to face the consequences for the sexual sins you commit before marriage unless you repent now. I am man enough to say that I did NOT know how to please my wife sexually in marriage, I only knew how to please MYSELF. But God restored me after I repented and I was able to fully learn together with my wife. Can I just be honest with you all and tell you we had some very awkward moments during the learning process? Sometimes I wouldn’t hear my wife say a thing during sex and I wondered why. So when I would ask she would say, “Well I’m trying not to fake it”! LOL! We can laugh about it now, but then it hurt my manhood deep. *hits my chest three times* LOL! And that is why we talk before, during and after sex because we both want to make sure we are pleasing each other. Fornication can cause men especially to become very selfish because when you’re fornicating you are about “getting yours”. So if you carry those worldly, carnal, sinful acts of whoring into your marriage, you can defile the marriage bed and end up not pleasing your wife. You will find that there cannot be GREAT SEX until you renew your mind on what sex really is; an act of worship with your spouse before The Most High. Once you experience that, you will NEVER go back to the sinful things you did in the world.

There are many other consequences of sexual sin and some we dealt with before marriage so they did not follow us into marriage. But the best news of the day is that God can restore us when we truly repent. We are the testimonies of how God can restore His people when it comes to sex in marriage. It’s time to be restored and made whole from sexual sin! So confess, repent, renew your mind and GO AND SIN NO MORE!

Gal 6:7-8, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life”.

Rom 6:21, “What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death”!

John 5:14, “Behold, thou art made whole: SIN NO MORE, lest a worse thing come unto thee”.

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