I know, I know…I was supposed to be praying too but I just had to capture the moment. To open my eyes, grab my phone and snap a pic of my husband praying with our children before bed is one of those moments that lets me know we got it right. Yeah…we did.
What did we get right? We did something different to meet someone different. We put our cards on the table from jump. No surprises, no second guessing. From the moment we first talked we made it clear that it was “Marriage or Nah”. We got to know each other with no strings attached for a year even tho PAV was tryna marry me within the first months of meeting lol (You gotta know the whole story tho). There was no kissing, no making out, no nothing during that “getting to know stage”. Straight acquaintances with a mission of “friends who could possibly marry” was the deal. That way if we weren’t feeling each other, we could move along without any emotional or sexual ties.
We became exclusive after that first year. When he would take me to his church he made it known I was that chick. You know, ‘His Lady’. And my goodness did I love the way he would introduce me to “the church”. The church who would judge me prematurely and sometimes un-righteously because I wasn’t raised in the church like him, wasn’t C.O.G.I.C. like him and definitely wasn’t “saved like him”. But I was on his arm because he chose me. And what many didn’t realize was that I received his choice and chose him in return. It wasn’t one sided. It was very mutual. I had to win his parents over being that I was not the church girl type but winning them over was worth the man.
2 years later after many “dating trials”, he made it official and gave me the ring…proposing to me while we were watching the airplanes land and take off. We had some trials while engaged but I was here for it, so we married 2 years later. Can’t believe I was really tryna divorce him 5 years after. But here we are…married still. 12 years in the deal. Husband and wife for real for real. With five beautiful babies we pray for, who we slay for and are steadily paving the way for.
So to be at a point where I watch this man I said Yes to pray with all of our children is a moment I had to capture. Not for my sake or yours but more so for my children’s sake. So that when they’re older they’ll always have this moment in print. Tho our 2 and 4 year old may not remember this, they’ll be able to see this pic and have this moment for life and see that…their parents really did do something right. We found one another, observed each other. Sealed the deal with each other. Then brought each of our children into this world and declared we would raise them up in the admonition of The Most High and teach them His ways. And it didn’t start that night. It started in July 1999, became serious in August 2000, made official in July 2002 and finalized in May 2004. Then we started our legacy in 2006, continued it in 2008, added to it in 2010, filled it more in 2012 and built it higher in 2014. Whoooo! We got a lot to do right? So what’s my point in all this right? What is OEV getting at?
My point is to get to this moment…to get this right…to be here in all of this right now today, we had to declare from the beginning that it was “Marriage or Nah”.And this is also what we’re showing our children. I mean, who has that kinda time to be wasting on “Nah” when time is pointing to Marriage? Who has that kinda heart to keep putting up with “Nah” when the heart is desiring Marriage? I mean really tho…who has that kinda strength to continually be weakened on “Nah” when it wants to be stronger in Marriage? I didn’t. And neither do you.
You’re single and you desire marriage..then it’s time to get a “Marriage or Nah” mentality about your life right now. This doesn’t mean nothing else matters, it simply means that the foolishness that comes with “Nah” is over and no longer needs your energy. I gave lots of details above to share our history together. Sure we had some ups and downs along the way, but we were still throwing up “Marriage or Nah” through it all.
You no longer have time to waste, you no longer have a heart to be broken by people playing games and you no longer have the strength to put towards “Nah”. Instead set some #MarriageGoals and then spend some time working towards those goals. It’s OK to want it, think of it, prepare for it and desire it. It’s honorable remember? So to desire something honorable is actually a very beautiful thing. But you gotta let go of the “Nah” because it’s possibly holding you up from what you truly desire..Marriage.
And last thing, if you’re Married, work to stay together. Remember divorce is nothing more than a “Nah” but in a different context. Not saying all marriages will work out, but at the very least give it your all and work to stay together as best as YOU can so that no matter what happens, you know you was all about that Marriage life! ? ~ OEV
Did I say something that blessed you? Confused you? Hit a nerve or inspired you! Leave a comment and let me know. I assure you of a timely response. Love you Fam . ?
PS Hey Ladies…wanna join me in my private Facebook group for Queens only? Click
here and join me NOW. See you there.
Wow #inspired
Wow! this truly blessed me and came quite timely.
Does it mean you weren’t a Christian when you both first met and he spoke about marriage with you?
where did you both meet yourselves?
was there any knowing within you that he was yours or you just liked naturally?
thank you ma….##smiling
Very inspiring writeup… I’d really love 2 talk to u, Privately tho. Thanx as u oblige
Blessed
Thank you for sharing your testimony. It truly blessed me.
Thanks for the kind words and straight forward points stated out clearly. I just needed to do away with one of such in my life now. He is a nah I want marriage he is there to her emotional benefits of marriage ( not sex please. I don’t do that). I have to move on and let God bring marriage in.
Am so inspired by this write up, I love the fact that you are practical about your life and I must confess that i am blessed. Thank you. Marriage or Nah
Inspired
Blessed me…
Great legacy
Thanks for this wonderful piece. I love these lines in your write-up: “… if you’re Married, work to stay together…”, and “…at the very least, give it your all and work to stay together as best as YOU can…”.
I was inspired and blessed by this article.
The world has made it really tough for single women. I mean, how do you beat the odds while pretending not to care. Yeah it is honorable and I want it. So tired of pretending not to care really
Blessed. Thanks for sharing
Very deep and real. How do I join the Private Facebook Group?
I have always looked forward to marriage. A time with my wife and children. The desire to lead them in the way of the Lord akin to none in my heart. I want to be the best I can for my wife and children and I lean on God for help. This piece has greatly encouraged my heart and has made realise that I can get it right in marriage. God bless you for this. #Marriageornah
Really inspiring. I was blessed.
This is the stage where my life is now… Motivated to stand my ground and say “NAH”
Wonderful write up. So inspiring, I like the fact you used yourself as an example, also went straight in hitting the nail on the head. Have always supported that fact, women should learn how to be a controller of their own life, as many men out there are just to use and dump them. Hence, that’s when the Nah or Marriage comes in. Stand you ground as a woman and not being used all the time. Thanks for this. Thumbs up. Do not slack. More from u
this was absolutely encouraging, motivating, and prior