“Marriage or Nah”? ~ OEV


I know, I know…I was supposed to be praying too but I just had to capture the moment.  To open my eyes, grab my phone and snap a pic of my husband praying with our children before bed is one of those moments that lets me know we got it right.  Yeah…we did.
What did we get right?  We did something different to meet someone different.  We put our cards on the table from jump.  No surprises, no second guessing.  From the moment we first talked we made it clear that it was “Marriage or Nah”.  We got to know each other with no strings attached for a year even tho PAV was tryna marry me within the first months of meeting lol (You gotta know the whole story tho).  There was no kissing, no making out, no nothing during that “getting to know stage”.  Straight acquaintances with a mission of “friends who could possibly marry” was the deal.  That way if we weren’t feeling each other, we could move along without any emotional or sexual ties.
We became exclusive after that first year.  When he would take me to his church he made it known I was that chick.  You know, ‘His Lady’.  And my goodness did I love the way he would introduce me to “the church”.  The church who would judge me prematurely and sometimes un-righteously because I wasn’t raised in the church like him, wasn’t C.O.G.I.C. like him and definitely wasn’t “saved like him”.  But I was on his arm because he chose me. And what many didn’t realize was that I received his choice and chose him in return. It wasn’t one sided.  It was very mutual.  I had to win his parents over being that I was not the church girl type but winning them over was worth the man.
2 years later after many “dating trials”, he made it official and gave me the ring…proposing to me while we were watching the airplanes land and take off.  We had some trials while engaged but I was here for it, so we married 2 years later.  Can’t believe I was really tryna divorce him 5 years after.  But here we are…married still.  12 years in the deal.  Husband and wife for real for real.  With five beautiful babies we pray for, who we slay for and are steadily paving the way for.
So to be at a point where I watch this man I said Yes to pray with all of our children is a moment I had to capture. Not for my sake or yours but more so for my children’s sake. So that when they’re older they’ll always have this moment in print. Tho our 2 and 4 year old may not remember this, they’ll be able to see this pic and have this moment for life and see that…their parents really did do something right. We found one another, observed each other. Sealed the deal with each other. Then brought each of our children into this world and declared we would raise them up in the admonition of The Most High and teach them His ways. And it didn’t start that night. It started in July 1999, became serious in August 2000, made official in July 2002 and finalized in May 2004. Then we started our legacy in 2006, continued it in 2008, added to it in 2010, filled it more in 2012 and built it higher in 2014. Whoooo! We got a lot to do right? So what’s my point in all this right? What is OEV getting at?

My point is to get to this moment…to get this right…to be here in all of this right now today, we had to declare from the beginning that it was “Marriage or Nah”.And this is also what we’re showing our children. I mean, who has that kinda time to be wasting on “Nah” when time is pointing to Marriage? Who has that kinda heart to keep putting up with “Nah” when the heart is desiring Marriage? I mean really tho…who has that kinda strength to continually be weakened on “Nah” when it wants to be stronger in Marriage? I didn’t. And neither do you.

You’re single and you desire marriage..then it’s time to get a “Marriage or Nah” mentality about your life right now. This doesn’t mean nothing else matters, it simply means that the foolishness that comes with “Nah” is over and no longer needs your energy. I gave lots of details above to share our history together. Sure we had some ups and downs along the way, but we were still throwing up “Marriage or Nah” through it all.


You no longer have time to waste, you no longer have a heart to be broken by people playing games and you no longer have the strength to put towards “Nah”. Instead set some #MarriageGoals and then spend some time working towards those goals. It’s OK to want it, think of it, prepare for it and desire it. It’s honorable remember? So to desire something honorable is actually a very beautiful thing. But you gotta let go of the “Nah” because it’s possibly holding you up from what you truly desire..Marriage.

And last thing, if you’re Married, work to stay together. Remember divorce is nothing more than a “Nah” but in a different context. Not saying all marriages will work out, but at the very least give it your all and work to stay together as best as YOU can so that no matter what happens, you know you was all about that Marriage life! ? ~ OEV

Did I say something that blessed you?  Confused you?  Hit a nerve or inspired you!  Leave a comment and let me know.  I assure you of a timely response.  Love you Fam .  ?
PS  Hey Ladies…wanna join me in my private Facebook group for Queens only?  Click here and join me NOW.  See you there.


“New Year, Same Me”!

TRULY FAITHFUL NewYear Email Campaign Pic


So 2015 ended and 2016 began…


But what’s changed besides the 5 to the 6?  Is your marriage better?  Have you stopped fornicating?  Are you still unemployed?  Did that relationship work out?  Are you still single after all the prophesies of finding the right one to marry in 2015?  Did you get that promotion you believed for?  Do you really feel any different today than December 31, 2015?

Please understand, this is not to make you feel low or lose hope.  This is just to help you face reality but at the same time offer you hope.  How so?  How so when you and your spouse have been trying to have a baby for years and 2015 was supposed to be the year but still no pregnancy?  How so when the woman/man you gave your heart to didn’t give you their heart in return and now you go into the New Year with a broken heart?  How so when you lost a loved one last year?  How so when a close friendship ended last year?  Or how so when your marriage is still on the rocks? We’ll tell you how.  But first…

Do you know how we brought the new year in?  With a disagreement.  I bet you thought we were going to say with prayer, laughter and lots of love right? LOL!  Don’t worry…we did that too.  But yes, we started off with a disagreement about something from 2015, that’s still an issue in 2016 (just a separation of a few days of course).  And though we’ll resolve this, it goes to show that new years often don’t change nothing but the date.  They don’t make you anymore saved than you were the previous year.  They don’t stop your heart from hurting from the loss of family or friendships.  They don’t stop the feelings of disappointments you’ve suffered.  No, they do none of those things.  But, there is something that does come with a new year…ANOTHER CHANCE!

And don’t you just love those?  You get another chance to make a wrong, right.  You get another chance to heal from that broken heart.  You get another change to reconcile a lost friendship or start a new one.  Couples trying to have babies get another chance to enjoy more sex with each other and try again.  Husbands and wives in problem marriages get another chance to work at reconciliation and get help if they need it.  Those who lost jobs in 2015 get another chance to search for new ones in 2016.  Those who entered the new year in bad relationships get another chance to open their eyes and see that it’s time to let the relationship go and more.

Don’t you see?  You might still be the same in a new year, but you’re also still HERE!  Alive!  And you get another chance to get it right!  To do better; to love again; to reconcile; to start afresh; to heal and more!

So even though we brought the new year in with a disagreement, we also get the chance to work it out!  *insert happy dance here* We may not have changed in certain areas or we may not have had any new growth as of yet and we may be the same PAV & OEV from 2015, at this very moment.  But as long as we have breath in 2016, we have the opportunity to grow from “Same Me” to “New Me” and so do you.  So for those who didn’t really feel a change when the clock hit 12:01 AM on January 1, 2016, know that as it is with each day, we get to start this new year off with brand new mercies!  And if we were you, we would take full advantage of them…every waking minute!

Lamentations 3:23, “Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning”.

We love you and pray you all have the “Blessed Year EVER”!  😉 


“When It’s God”! ~ OEV


Many of you are coming upon marriage and that’s great because marriage is honorable but there are some of you who are marrying just to be marrying. Listen it’s really not our business as to why you are marrying. Whether you are feeling pressured or fearing that you won’t find anyone else who wants to marry you. Whether you are feeling you’re getting older so you need to go ahead and settle or that you’re ready to have children. No matter what it is, understand that when it comes to marriage, it should not be done in haste or out of fear.

Remember, when you marry, you are marrying a person you will share your life with. This person will see you at your best and at your worse. They will see all of your little habits that no one else sees on the regular. They will influence you spiritually just as you will influence them spiritually! There will be no other person on this earth you will be more intimate with; at least that’s how it’s supposed to be. So we encourage you not to jump into marriage just for the sake of marrying. You should want peace when it comes to choosing a mate as this is one surefire way in knowing when it’s God!

No matter what we do in this life, as born again believers, we should always want the approval of our Heavenly Father on anything we do. We pray about jobs, education and so many other things, so we should also pray about entering into life covenants. Because after coming to Christ, marriage is one of the biggest step we will take in this life.

When it’s God, your heart will not be troubled about who you are choosing to marry. When it’s God, the Holy Spirit will confirm it! When it’s God, even though you may be nervous, you will know that this person is the right one for you. When it’s God, you will be ready to marry this person, flaws and all. When it’s God, you’ll look forward to marriage with so much joy! When it’s God you will feel you have to marry this person because you love them just that much! When it’s God, no matter the struggles everything else will fall in line. It has to. Why? Because it’s God!

God will never have His hand on something that does not glorify Him! And even though marriage is honorable, you don’t want to go into it because of fear. You don’t want to marry just because your siblings and friends are already married and your family is pressuring you to marry. You don’t want to marry just because everyone’s telling you to, because in the end, it is YOU that will have to live with the person you choose for a mate.

So to all of you who are about to marry or who are contemplating on who to marry, know that when it’s God, not only will you have peace but EVERYTHING will work out because IT’S HIM! #MakeSure

Phil 4:6-7 (NIV), “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”.

Be encouraged by the scripture above that as you seek God, He will confirm in letting you know when it’s Him!

Please share this with as MANY as you can! Thanks Everyone!