PAV: When we married, we just knew sex was going to be the B to the O to the M to the B! BOMB! I mean we only knew of fornication, so we figured sex in marriage was going to be easier and much better since we already knew what to do. Boy were we wrong! And though we had repented of sexual sin before we married, we had not renewed our minds about sex. So what happened? We went into marriage with a skewed view of sex and thought that from our honeymoon night and thereon, we have nothing but magical nights of passionate love making, sex, getting our groove and more. But….that was not to be…at least not in the beginning.
Instead, what we found out was, sex in marriage is work just as with anything else. We also found out that Sex in marriage is TOTALLY different from fornication. Fornication is selfish but sex is selfless. So as a man who was now a husband, I had to learn how to please one woman and one woman ONLY for life. You would think when a man has had more than one sex partner when single that he would be experienced in sex when married. Boy was I wrong about that too. See, let’s just be real. When single men engage in fornication, they don’t really care about the woman’s feeling, emotions, orgasm or spirit. They mainly just want to get their own orgasm. Then they believe that since the woman made all kinds of sounds during fornication, that they performed great. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. How do I know this? Let’s let my wife take it from here.
OEV: Did you know studies have shown that 75% of all women who’s had sex have NEVER had an orgasm? So if that percentage is so high, what in God’s name is happening during all this sex where the women are screaming like the heavens are surrounding her bedroom during sexual intercourse? FAKING! Sooo then what happens? The ladies fornicate with these men, not really getting much out of sex unless there is oral sex, so then after displeasing sex she turns to self pleasure i.e. masturbation, to get what that man couldn’t give her; an orgasm . So now we have these men who are puffed up thinking they are God’s gift to women and then we have women who don’t really enjoy sex though they’ve been having lots of it. And in the end we have these same people getting married thinking one thing but experiencing something totally opposite. Then what do you end up having? Sexless marriages or unfulfilled sex lives in marriage. Don’t believe us? OK let us share quickly.
Out of all the topics we get emailed and inboxed on, the most is sex and that’s coming from both married and singles. But when it comes from married couples, almost 95% of those are coming from couples who are sexually frustrated. When we begin to get to the root of the problem, almost 99% of these couples fornicated before they married. Do you think that is a coincidence? I think not.
See, once my husband and I were married, we had to “unlearn” so much junk we had allowed in our minds and spirits about sex that we’ve had to literally learn from scratch on what sex really is. What we NEVER realized was that the things we did sexually before marriage would affect us after marriage, even after we repented. Doesn’t seem fair right? Well, fair or not, it affected us and not one married couple who fell into sexual sin before us EVER shared this with us. We had to find out the hard way that even after repentance there is something called “consequences”. And my goodness did those consequences cause problems in our marriage.
So we are telling singles right now that what you do sexually before marriage will affect you sexually in some way after marriage, even after you repent. And this is not just based on ourselves, this is also based on the hundreds of married people we’ve talked to privately about their sex lives and even statistics as well. One of the main things we’ve had to do in this ministry is counsel married couples’s sex life back to life. Why? Because just like us, they came into marriage thinking one thing about sex but finding out something totally different which caused so many sexual problems.
So with all of that being said, for one week, we will be candidly sharing something each day of what couples wish they knew about sex before they married so that we can help not only married couples but mostly singles who desire marriage. But guess what? You will not find these things on our page or site. Nope! LOL! In order to find out these things each day, you will have to subscribe to our mailing list right now. All you have to do is go to the bottom of any of our site pages and sign up for our updates. That is the only way we will be sending this information to you is by email.
PAV & OEV: Those who are on our mailing lists received a special treat recently in that they shared a sexual sin they were dealing with and we responded to each one with a personalized video or audio. Yes, we took out time to do that but only for our email subscribers. So if you’re not already on our mailing list, then you need to get on our list today.
You’re going to enjoy these updates, we just know it! 🙂
We love you Fam! ~ Pastor Antonio Vance & Octavia E Vance (PAV & OEV)